Etiqutte

The people of Tajikistan are generally very courteous, friendly and hospitable. Hospitality towards guests is an important part of Tajik culture. If you are invited to a Tajik home, you should take a small gift for your hosts. A souvenir item, like a picture book, from your home country is ideal, but if you have brought nothing suitable with you a gift such as a bouquet of flowers (get an odd number) or box of sweets is fine. Note that an invitation to go to someone's house for 'a cup of tea' invariably means something more substantial, often a full meal. If you are visiting a household in which food may be in short supply, bring with you at least as much as you expect to eat, and press that upon your hosts as a gift. Even if they initially refuse to accept it, persevere. There are some basic rules of etiquette:

• Always take off your shoes when entering a house, apartment or yurt. There is usually a mixture of assorted slippers and flip-flops available to wear around the house. You should not shake hands or kiss across a doorway or step on the threshold as this is believed to bring bad luck.
• The normal mode of greeting is the person puts their right hand across the heart, tilts the head forward and says "Assalom aleykum" (Peace be with you). This should be returned.

• It is very likely you will be invited into a home. The invitation is meant. Hospitality is a basic tenet of the people of Central Asia, particularly in the mountain areas. This is illustrated by the saying of the 14th century poet Hafez:

O brother respect the guest and look after him
For the guest is the gift of God
For the guest brings blessings and removes the sins of the host
He who respects the guest, respects the Prophet and God
He who insults and disgraces the guest, disgraces and insults
Allah and his Prophet
He who serves the guest serves Allah and his Prophet Muhammed

• If you have time take some chocolates or flowers. Even if you are invited for a cup of tea, it is always more than that. Be prepared for a meal with a cloth set out with fruit, nuts and sweets, followed by a full meal. Your hosts may even slaughter a sheep or goat in your honour. This whole process cannot be hurried, and it can be overwhelming. It is a special way of learning about your hosts and how they live, but if you do not have the time, refuse politely. If you stay, remember your hosts are likely to be poor. Offer some money or provisions as a gift. They will probably refuse to take money, so give it quietly to the eldest child or hide it under a plate on leaving.
• Avoid displaying the soles of your feet or shoes.
• Water will be normally be offered to wash your hands before the meal - always use it.
• Don't put your feet on the tablecloth - if necessary tuck them under it. Do not step across the tablecloth if you are seated on the floor, go round it.
• Even if food is unappetising, take at least a symbolic bite.
• A prayer will normally be spoken at the end of a meal, sometimes only a perfunctory Allah Akbar' (God is great) - during the prayer, cup your hands in front of you - when it is finished draw your hands downward over your chin as if you were stroking a beard in an action symbolising a washing gesture. This is the signal for everyone to get up from the table. You shouldn't continue to pick at food after this point.
• People will be very interested in your family and home. Take some pictures of your family and your home town to show them. (It is worth taking some postcards or calendars as small gifts.)
• It is offensive to blow your nose into your handkerchief.
• Do not wear shorts (including men), miniskirts or skimpy tops. Cotton shirts are better than T-shirts, especially to visit someone's home or a mosque.
• For women it is useful to carry a small headscarf for visiting holy places.
• In more traditional households you may find that men and women are entertained separately. Although there is little concern about women being seen by non-family members, they often feel more comfortable sitting and talking with their own sex. Foreign women frequently have the fortunate position of being able to participate in both male and female social interactions, and so can get to know all parts of the family with greater intimacy.
• Bread is treating almost with reverence in Tajikistan. It should ideally be torn rather than cut, should not be placed face-down on the table and should not be thrown out with the rubbish. If you are serving yourself from a communal dish, or passing food to someone, use only your right hand: as in other Muslim cultures, the left hand is considered unclean.

• Mosques, shrines and other holy places often have their own sets of rules and you should endeavour to observe these. If in doubt, ask, as it is better to appear naive than disrespectful. Requirements are likely to include removing your shoes, utvering your head (women only) and wearing long trousers or a skirt that covers the knees. Shorts and strapless T-shirts will get you strange looks anywhere in Tajikistan and should not be worn in conservative areas such as the Pamirs. At religious sites they really are unacceptable. You may be expected to wash your hands and face. In some places only one gender is permitted to enter. Whatever your personal opinion, you should respect the community's wishes.